K: Ian!
I: Kyle?
K: Ian, are you ready to do this?
I: I am..moderately ready.
K: I'M ready to do this!
I: Then let's do this!
Both: Scooter Picnic in the house!

K: Our Name is Scooter Picnic! I'm Kyle and he's Ian!
We are the whitest rapping nerds That you have ever seen!

I: We are called Scooter Picnic, as you have just now heard
We rock a rhyme that's right on time, that's catchy and absurd

K: My name is TV's Kyle! I make the bloopy sounds!
Regurgitating crazy beats from midis that I found!

I: My name is Insane Ian! I like to play the games!
I'll rock your socks, and on Xbox, achievements I will claim!

Chorus: HEY! (x16)

K: Our name is Scooter Picnic! How do you friggin' do?
We've got a month to make some awesome nerdcore tracks for you!

I: Our name is Scooter Picnic! I'm Ian and that's Kyle
We may not be the best rappers but at least we have style!

K: My name is TV's Kyle! I tend to keep it clean.
My mutton chops will love you lots. What does that even mean?

I: My name is Insane Ian! By now I'm sure you know.
But I have to keep telling you, that's how this intro goes.

Chorus: HEY! (x16)

K: Our name is Scooter Picnic! He's Ian and I'm Kyle.
We hope you keep this record in rotation for a while.

I: We like the repetition and saying our own names.
Well Kyle does, that's obvious, but I think that it's strange.

K: My name is TV's Kyle! I like to draw cartoons
I bring to you my pirate cow and froggy suit raccoon!

I: My name's Insane Ian, It's time we moved along.
You've got the point of this here joint, Let's go play Donkey Kong!

Chorus: HEY! (x16)

K: We did it!
I: Yeah.
K: We got - got through the song!
I: Yes.
K: Ian! Ian, we did it.
K: Yes, Kyle. We certainly did.